Sometimes I wonder, am I expecting too much
Or am I not receiving enough?
Am I giving too much
Or am I not giving enough?
In the world of love, everything is complicated.
I still remember Huimin telling me this,
"I love you more than money."
- I miss you dearest.
Alright, last few days was kinda normal in a case. nothing much to blog about. mood is getting better I suppose, which is a good thing. Bf is leaving Singapore on the 3rd early in the morning, which is just this Friday till the 11th, next Saturday. ): damn fast okae&it's gonna be damn long. well, he will enjoy himself there definitely. &I realised I havent been a good friend. I'm sorry my 5-going-6years friend. I didnt mean not to go down. I was plain exhausted that few days. will explain to you when I see you bah.
My 18th birthday is coming in 8 days' time.
8th October yo. hehe.
A part of me is looking forward to it, a part of me isnt. argh.
I only have 2wishes this year, but both wouldnt come true.
Cause it isnt so easy to happen.
Nevermind, I'm not expecting any fantastic this year though it's my 18th birthday. (:
Cheers people.
I tried to stay happy these few days.
I tried to smile&laugh like I used to.
Somehow, I'm hurting inside.
I know I should just forget about it.
But I simply just cant believe what had happened.
Right now, I guess I need more time to recover&much more assurances.
Erinna Lin Ying Jun, thanks for everything. I'm sorry for waking you up&scaring you in the middle of the night. I'm sorry making you so worried about me. I'm sorry for causing you so much trouble that night. I appreciate it, truly. I love you Twinny. Big Hugs! I swear I will be there whenever you need someone.
The only one thing that makes me happy after that long, tiring night.
She's always so adorable.
I miss you so, my dearest Nanny.
Alright. Morning everyone. I havent sleep yet. How nice eh. I guess I can really die already. havent got a good night sleep eversince my Ahma passed away. many shits just happen right after that. God Damn It. save me, yes? I've never felt so dead&fcuked up before.
Everything has its limits.
It's killing me from the inside.
Trust is something you need alot of time to build up&just one second to destroy it.
My birthday is coming in 13 more days time.
Presents&surprises for me yes? (:
24th September, Wednesday.
Happy 3rd month love.Time passes by so fast eh.
We're gonna go through the hardest times together yes? (:
went over to Bf's house around 3pm. he played Cai Hong on the guitar for me eh. hahaha. he said he's damn nervous playing for me. dont know why also. LOLS. oh&he promised to play me a song every month. ((: left his place around 4plus, mrt-ed down to Vivo. it's been a hundred years since I went there, okae, I mean a number of months. hahahahah. grab a bite at Superdog. not too bad eh, worth the try. after that, walk around Vivo like we've never been there before. LOLS. around 7plus, mrt-ed down to Kovan, bus-ed to Chompchomp for our dinner. after dinner, walked around Serangoon Garden. basically we have been walking&walking. okae, we always does that when we're out. LOLS. after that bus-ed to Serangoon interchange. walked&chatted alot about everything. one word, great. hehe. stopped for a drink at Jooseng there derh coffeeshop. then walked back to my place around 1am. reached my place around 2am? Bf cabbed home afterwhich.
Cute? LOLS.
It's how beautiful the sky is always.
we look as if we're at another country. LOLS.
I wanted you to see me through it all.
Who says in a relationship, you will be happy 24/7?
If you will, I suppose there wouldnt be break-ups, divorces already eh?
Often people doesnt treasure the things they have till they are at the verge of losing it, yes?
Communication is a magical thing.
Without communications, nothing can be done.
Lack of communications, misunderstandings arose.
Why let a relationship ending up in a mess without even trying to sort things out eh?
Yes, sometimes it's difficult to put what you feel into words.
But if you dont let it out, the problem will remain there forever.
You might also think that saying it out might get unhappiness&quarrels in return.
But have you ever tried?
Things might not turn out as bad as you think it will be. (:
If the relationship doesnt work out, ask yourself where the problem lies.
Issit you or issit the surroundings?
Nothing in life remain so perfect.
What's a relaionship without arguements, quarrels&conflicts?
There're bound to be some.
That's when you will see how strong the love is.
That's when you will realise how important that person is to you.
That's when you will learn how to solve the problem together.
No point leaving problems unsolve&accumulating them as time goes by.
What for let things turn out so bad when you know you can do something about it?
I might not be the best girlfriend afterall.
I might be unreasonable at times.
I might be irritating at times.
I might be stubborn at times.
I might not be understanding enough sometimes.
Thankyou for everything.
It's great knowing you will always be there.
Things will work out, I swear. (:
20th September, Saturday.
this babe here is Adeline. (:
last day of work at this Roadshow. took some pics with the people working there. after work, met up with Bf&his friends. but separated with them awhile later. ate at the Kopitiam near Cathay. then walked around aimlessly. LOLS. bought magazine, sit down outside PS there to read together. we did alot of stupid things but we enjoyed it right baby? hehe. home around 1plus2am?
Rhowena, Gazel.
Adeline, me, Rhowena, Lina, I-forget-her-name&Gazel.
At Kopitiam. LOLS.
22nd September, Monday.
woke up at 1plus? slack, prepared&stuff. meet up with Bf at Boonkeng Mrt station. mrt-ed down to Clarke quay. lunch-ed at Han's. then walked to no idea where, had egg tart. the egg tart is nice eh&special in shape. hahah. after that, walk around Chinatown, then Central. bus-ed to Bf's place around 9plus10pm. watch Hotshot together. home around 12plus.
Egg tarts, anyone? (:
Argh, the song "Bye bye" by Mariah Carey reminds me of my Ahma.
like I mention, wake from 12th September till 16th September. collected Ahma's ashes on the 17th September morning.
17th September, Wednesday.
Song Mei Eng. we know each other for 18 years! LOLS.
Xiaojing jie, Meieng, me&Kenny Tan as Bg. =X
ohwell, results are out. not that great though. will not reveal it here. but well, I passed everything. ask me personally if you're veryyyyyyyyyyyy interested eh? hahahahahah.
18th September, Thursday.
first day of work. ohwell, I'm will be working at PS M1 roadshow till Sunday 21st September. interested in any Sony Ericsson phone, do come down&support! LOLS. not all models are available there though, to be exact there's only 4 models available. hahahah. okae, work from 11am till 9pm. Bf pick me up from work. caught 4bia at 9pm. scary okae, almost die in the cinema. LOLS. after movie, bus-ed to my house here, eat. chatted with Bf for awhile, home around 1am.
19th September, Friday.
work as usual. dinner-ed with Bf, then he left for movie with his friends. ohwell, Shannon, Gilbert, Xihong&Antron visited me at around 8plus? hahah. &they keep disturbing me. idiotic. well, after work, bus-ed home.
oh&I took almost 1hour to cut my super hard&long nails. can die. LOLS.
Trust is all we need.
Is it just me or is it everything around me are just so fucking shitty?
alright, my Ahma just passed away on Thursday, 11th September. wake was from Friday till Tuesday. was at the wake everyday. body will be burn tomorrow afternoon. Erinna came down on the first day, Bf came down on the 2nd&3rd day. thanks eh. appreciate it.
8th September, Monday.
supposed to have class chalet for 3days, 8th-10th. but ended up, it's a badbad day for me&him I suppose. mood was totally spoilt seriously. after everything, around 11plus, bus-ed to Cine there, ate at opposite Cine that kopitiam? after that, cabbed back to his place. &yeah, spent the night there.
9th September, Tuesday.
didnt really sleep well at his place. LOLS. wake up like once every hour. can die. disturb him&make him wake up to accompany me. home around afternoon, then accompany him to collect his passport but he didnt bring his old passport so yeah. back to my place. he went home around 8pm. went Marine Parade with Erinna. catch-ups&stuff. she missed me too much. =X
10th September, Wednesday.
meet Bf at ICA Building. he went to collect his passport. yeah, finally it's done&collected. well, good or bad thing? no idea. after that, town-ed. caught Boys over flowers at 7pm. quite a nice show afterall. after movie, cant remember what we do. home around 12am.
11th September, Thursday.
Primary school gathering. but I've got to leave just right after the dinner to the hospital.
Demanding or not.
Can I be the one dead instead?
alright. I'm back. I'm sad cause my tagboard is so dead. argh. LOLS. tag me people, talk to me! hahahah. let me update on my trip to Malaysia. this was the first time going on a trip with my family, no joke okae. yes, for almost 18 years, this is the first time. well, I'm not from a wealthy family afterall. seriously must thanks Sister&Brother-in-law in making this trip possible. I enjoyed the 3days but it would be better if I can bring baby along. hahahhah.
some pics at Marrybrown.
Dearest Sister&Niece.
LOL@this pic.
fyi, it's not as disgusting as you think it is. (:
Parents.
woke up at 8am or so? prepared&stuff. breakfast with Parents&Niece. after that, shopped around. went to take the cable car. hehe. after that, the adults went Casino again while I accompany my Niece sit the Ferris Wheel. kinda boring, going round&round. hahah. after that, went Mac with my Niece while waiting for the adults. bought drink&fries for my Niece. after that, Sister they all came. lunch-ed then after then went over to Malacca. Malacca was damn hot compared to Genting. hahah. changed into shorts once we booked-in the hotel. dinner after which. yes, basically we eat&eat&eat. LOLS. after dinner was night market! hahahah. there till cant remember what time, back to the hotel, washed up, online awhile using the computer provided in the hotel. slept around 1plus2am.
woke up at 7plus because my Mum off the air-con&it's like so warm! after that, prepared&stuff. breakfast with Parents because Sister they all overslept. LOLS. after breakfast, waited for Sister they all to prepared&stuff. &we went on shopping like nobody's business. hahah. after shopping, around 5plus? ate chicken rice then journey back to Singapore! hahahah. reach Singapore around 9plus. met up with love for awhile. pass him things that I bought for him. missed him so much. home around 12plus?
My 18th birthday is coming in less than one month's time.
I should feel happy&excited but well.
It's not anyone's fault here, some things are just beyond control.
Any kind soul have got surprises for me? hahahah.
Till then, bye earth.
Joanne Lum Mei Zhen. ♥
